Sunday morning I woke up HUNGRY! I have actually grown to love that feeling in the morning. CJ and I have a ritual where we got to IHOP every weekend. I usually get the Simple & Fit 2 egg breakfast. But, today for some reason, I really wanted oatmeal. So, that is what I got! It was delicious, I mixed in nuts and ordered a side of egg beaters. Breakfast was great and it really kept me full.
Later that day, my sister and I went to my moms house to decorate the Christmas tree. Well, it was more like I decorated the tree, but I loved it. It was a little weird. I have always fantasized about the day that I would host my own Christmas, that I would receive my moms decorations that have been a staple in the house since I was young. Well, today was that day. My mom went through box after box handing things "over" for my house.
Big news! After almost six year together, CJ and I are moving in together (this May)!. While decorating the tree with my family, I expressed dream of our future Christmas celebrations. I love the thought of the holidays. It actually scares me for the thought of the day when I have my own child (I can't wait) because I know I will overdo it, I just can't help it! Well, I want to be the home that everyone comes to on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is full of so much suspense. I want to be the family tradition all the kids look forward to every Christmas eve. Plus, we will all need something to do to entertain our children on that big night! I want to be that house! I want to have a big turkey/ham dinner, presents under the tree, everyone dressed up, Christmas carols, the whole deal! Well these are the words from my mother's own mouth, "why don't we start next year"?... And that we will do!
We had such a good time reminiscing over childhood artifacts that defined our childhood. I was feeling a little guilty about all the beer I had consumed on Saturday, but I was signing Christmas songs and thought to myself, a glass of wine wouldn't hurt. That night we went out to dinner. We ate at an Italian restaurant. I ordered Chicken Caccitorre (I really don't know how to spell it, and I don't feel like looking it up... forgive me). I have been trying SO hard to follow the every 4th day eat carb schedule. Well, no, today is not a carb day and that garlic bread looks amazing...
I left there so full, the meal as mainly protein based (other than the sugar in my marinara sauce). I had a few bites of my mom's eggplant parmesan (oops, it has breadcrumbs and cheese aka CARBS), but I did it! I resisted the garlic bread. I guess you could say I did good (remember what that mean? I didn't overeat). I just kept thinking that even though I ate one plate setting, the whole plate setting. It was probably the size of 3 meals I would eat at home.
It was a great evening with my mom. Other than the fact that we ended up with the police because they thought we were breaking into our own building. Long story, but she didn't know how to use the alarm at her shop... Oh mom! Overall, good weekend, I don't feel that I did anything that I truly regret :)
Breakfast: Oatmeal with nuts, egg beaters, & Coffee
Snack: Peanut Butter & Almonds
Dinner: Salad with House Italian Dressing, Chicken Caccitorre, & 2 glasses of wine
No exercise :(
First off, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. If I am going to write this blog (still a little weird to me), then I am going to be completely honest. Maybe I am being honest with you, right? There has to be someone else out there who struggles like I do. Well, maybe I will atleast be honest with myself.
Friday night I actually didn't do anything! I left off saying "oh, we will probably drink, and I have to plan for that" blah blah blah. Well, I was so tired I actually didn't even make a complete dinner. I had almonds and peanut butter, surprise surprise! Still enough calories to be a meal. Actually, the amount that I eat, probably more calories than I would eat in a regular meal.
Saturday we went to Islands of Adventure at Universal Studios. I am not feeling that great about myself and I was meeting a few of CJ's friends (who I have never met before). That in general brings anxiety. Why? I really don't know. I really shouldn't care what other people think about me, but I do. Overall, they day went well. We walked all day which made me feel better since I didn't have time to run. We went to a restaurant in the park and I got a grilled chicken salad. All was good except the amount of beer we consumed.
Later that night, we went to a friends house for burgers. Generally, these burgers would NOT be on my meal plan but they were amazing. The deli style buns were toasted on the grill, the patties were so think and tender they melted in your mouth. i did get a little nervous when I heard him say each patty was 1/2 pound each!
Later that night I was hit with a surprise! All day long the boyfriend was saying, I have so much to do tomorrow, "I don't think we will go out to cowboys". So, of course, I didn't plan on that outing when I was consuming calorie after calorie in the park. Its not that I am worried about necessarily gaining weight after a few extra calories (I have been there, done that), but now my body continues to swell. I personally feel better just eating a snack before a night out.
Cowboys was fun, luckily I didn't run into anyone I knew. I didn't even have any clothes to change into. I don't know why, but when I go out, I like to feel good (and yes that means look good). To wrap it up... I left cowboys a drunk mess, but I didn't eat any junk... SUCCESS!
Breakfast: Oatmeal & Coffee from McDonalds
Lunch: (too soon for a snack) Grilled Chicken Salad & Beer & Wine
Snack: Almonds
Dinner: Cheeseburger, IT WAS HUGE :(
And drinks, and drink, and more drink... but at least I made a dancing fool of myself :)
Max Phase Day 1, November 30th
The “Cleanse Phase” of the 24 day challenge is finally over. I have done this cleanse once before, and I truly felt ‘on top’ of it. This time, I have to say, I didn’t feel that way at all. When I began the cleanse, I think I knew in my heart that it wasn’t going to be perfect. I started this 2 days before Thanksgiving. Most people reacted saying “why not wait till after…” but I just simply couldn’t. I needed this cleanse. I needed something to distract my path of destruction that I was on. Unfortunately, I am the girl who lets food run my life. I have had a long history of food problems. As I am writing this it seems weird because actually, it is not long at all. I guess it just feels that way.
Three summers ago, while out in Hawaii visiting my family, I began to ‘exercise’, nothing too extreme. When I would walk outside, I could see the ocean. It seemed foolish of me not to utilize the beautiful scenery. So, I decided I would run. When I initially began, I could only run down the road (yes, it was a slight incline). Eventually, I was able to run down and back. Before you knew it I was able to run down and back twice totaling two miles. From a girl who cringed at the thought of walking a mile, I was pretty impressed with myself.
Being in Hawaii, it is always easier for me to watch what I eat. Which is weird considering my Dad is a fine diner. I am not sure if it is the fact that I don’t go out and drink, or I simply feel like I have time to work on myself, but it is just a great feeling set a goal for my return and do it. Well, I guess this is where my story begins. I returned from Hawaii and felt good about myself. I really didn’t notice anything that different but I was exercising and watching what I was eating for about a month. Upon my return, the positive reinforcements were overwhelming. Everyone was complimenting me on my weight loss and I felt great! I felt like my boyfriend was attracted to me in a way that I have never felt before. It was a feeling
that I never wanted to lose.
I returned home and began to map out my running pattern, bought healthy foods, and began to read. I would spend my work hours reading recipe after recipe looking for new “low calorie” foods. The lower the calorie, the more excited I would get. I found a website called“Hungry Girl”, this is the best website for those counting calories, and still gives me recipes to this date! Growing up and in my early twenties, I was never one to cook, nor a healthy eater for that matter. Most of my meals came from Chick-Fil-A, or another take out restaurant. From out of nowhere I gained this will power that I never knew I had. Well, from August to December I lost weight. My boyfriend and mother had concerns about my eating habits and my paranoia about eating at a restaurant got out of control, you just never know what they are cooking with. After months of calorie counting I lost about forty pounds and looked great…. Ha! At least I thought so.
After a few months a hearing from my family “Ok, you have lost enough. It’s time not to worry”, I continued to watch my calories, butter, and anything “unhealthy”. Not really because I wanted to live my life counting and stressing about what was going on in the kitchen, but because I couldn’t stop! I was now running 3 miles a day and only eating 900 calories a day. Before you knew it, I was 90 pounds (Oh yea, I am a 5”8 girl). Within the next few months, I flew out to Las Vegas for a Spring Break trip with my boyfriend. My mother and father joined me in Las Vegas as well and right there in the middle of the Cesar’s Palace Bar, I was told I was going to enter rehab for an eating disorder!
At the time, I didn’t think I needed help. I just wanted to be left alone eat my healthy foods. Long story short, rehab was hard and I started swelling from the new foods I had deprived my body of for so long. I mentally thought it was instant weight gain and I just gave up on myself. Basically saying, well if I already gained this weight might as well start eating food and enjoying it. So I did… I ate, and I ate, and I ate. I was so miserable with my new weight of 170 pounds. There were so
many days that I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I went into a state of pure hibernation, even missing my best friends’ weddingL. But in reality, the more I hid from life, the more of an excuse it was for me to continue eating. As everyone always says the “the diet starts tomorrow”, and you bet, that is what I told myself as I sat in bed eating a tray full of brownies. Why the whole tray? Well, I lived a life of all or nothing. If I was going to start the diet, I might as well eat everything I“can’t” eat tomorrow, tonight. This went on for a while and now you can see why I quickly hit 170 pounds.
Well, I finally got my life back on track, but I felt like I was depriving myself by only eating three small meals a day while continuing to run, of course. I did it! I lost the weight and got back down to 138 pounds. Now this time, I looked and felt great! Unfortunately, depriving myself of foods and thinking of certain things as“bad” would lead to a binge. There was a mixture of things going on in my life and one MAJOR stressor (still, not an excuse), but I managed to regain about 25 pound which is where I am at now. I am currently started this cleanse at 163 pounds. I desperately needed something to get my life (yes life, my weight still seems to control my happiness) back on track.
Ok, I know that was a lot of background. But here is where I am at now, 158 pounds. During the cleanse, which I still ate Thanksgiving dinner and Kobe’s at a work outing, managed to lose 5 pounds. I feel better already being “on track”. So that brings me to today, Day 1 of the MAX Phase. My meal plan for the day is listed below. Writing this out will hopefully help me stick to it considering I am in Starbucks and craving a Pumpkin Spice Latte which is what I usually drink when I sit here for hours working. But never the less, I CAN DO IT! Along with the help of Advocare, I WILL lose 15 pounds. I believe in Advocare. Not necessarily the pills (personally, I think that is just mental) but the meal plan combination. For some reason, having something to follow gives me hope. I am good at writing and staying on a plan (I think that is why I was so good at counting). Advocare wants you to eat! Advocare wants you to eat every 3 hours. Let’s be honest anything that lets me eat peanut butter as a “safe” food is alright with me.
So, I have never blogged before, but my ultimate goal is for you (or someone, whoever is reading this) to see that it works. So here we go, this is Day 1 !
P.S. My mother could not lose weight for the life of her… She as well was desperate to find something to work. She has now lost 50 pounds since July 20th. Way to go Mom!!!
Breakfast: Starbucks Plain Oatmeal & Coffee
Morning Snack: 2 handfuls of Plain Almonds (I am obsessed, Although, I think I overeat them) & Spark
Lunch: Meal Replacement Shake with 2 tbsp of Peanut Butter Powder (only 50 calories and tastes great in a smoothie, not so good by itself) & handful of Almonds (again :/ )
Afternoon Snack: 2 tbsp (knowing me, it was probably more) 5 carrots, and a handful of almonds (see, I love those almonds) & Spark
Dinner: Herb Crusted Chicken with vegetables. Recipe from http://skinnyms.com/slow-cooker-herb-chicken-and-vegetables/
or look in the Recipe section
See my recipe review tomorrow :)
Exercise: Ran 3 Miles
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